So I have to ask... did I meet your lumberjack expectations? I mean, minus the red flannel and all.
"tonights gonna be a goodnight" was blasting at the club while i was screaming "NO ITS NOT" and crying. How do you think it went?
It's really too bad Cosmo doesn't have "What To Do When You've Drunkenly Sucked His Dick and He Doesn't Text You Back" article.
we usually just have an Easter beer hunt and never end up at church anyways
the beat of "birthday sex" is shockingly similar to my dry heaving rhythm. it's making me nauseous all over again.
I've got 15 minutes to eat dinner and drink a 40. Four years of college has all been training for this moment.
I'm sorry. I really don't see what's wrong with pregaming before a wine tasting.This champagne won't drink itself.
The wine tasting is just for charity anyways...
you were fixing your hair in the bathroom mirror and then fell backwards through the locked stall while she was in mid pee and fell on her lap.
just saw someone in just a bathrobe not even tied shut run to the bathroom with a facefull of cum. Someone had a good night
Pretty sure I can show you the text you sent me stating some interest in my penis entering your mouth if said circumstances were met.
You installed a beer holder in the shower?! You're the best roommate ever!
... That's a shower caddy.
I believe this is a toe-mate-toe vs. toe-maut-toe situation.
You said you wanted to wrap his dick in a tortilla and make a spicy burrito. Let me just say, most girls don't have this hard of a time getting laid.
Thanks for coming over. I'm sorry everyone else was vomiting. Thank you for not vomiting. I love you.
all i want in life is a shot and a cock is that too much to ask
I have to have boobs, you have the charm and wholesomeness that gets boyfriends... And i have boobs
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