Do you think you have hit the lowest point in your life when you find yourself actually condisering watching the movie "Gigli"?
also, i may or may not be wearing a cape right now. hint: i am.
Is it weird that I think of Ennis from Brokeback Mountain everytime I hear "Make em Say" by Master P? "I don't need your money. Huh." NA NA NA NAAA.
It's 10am, I'm at grocery store buying booze b/c the bf just told me that he didn't "technically" break up with his ex.
Is there a zoo near here? I need to see some penguins like right now..
I am not bailing you of of jail
Nah you can have him. There's too many men in my life right now. I can't handle another dick.
She told me she loves her boyfreind while she was giving me head. He must be a nice guy
He passed out again after sex. I've hidden all his clothes. There's no way he is sneaking out in the morning this time!
Dude it was bad... like you fell asleep around the toilet after drinking from the back tank bad.
And he came all over himself. At least he didn't ruin my new lulus.
Actually though that could've been bad.
Omg that was my second thought of the morning.
First was that we had pop tarts.
On the shuttle bus from the Casino the driver refused to take us to the strip club so you said "let me off this bus or ill puke on you".
He called me dainty, then fucked me like the Viking God he is.
My school has hired a professional rum bottle juggler for our dining hall this evening.
Drunk within and hour of coming home from work, merry christmas bitch
Randomize
