How is it? Sketchville?
cheap drinks and peanuts cancel out any form of sketchiness
wow wtf my bar tab was 80 dollars
IT WAS DOLLAR BEER NIGHT
All i remember was he was wearing billibong pants... well actually my mom found that out for me.
I literally stabbed myself so I had a valid reason to get out of having sex with her
level of my singleness - just ate a whole pizza topless in bed.
And dont forget my 23rd birthday where with no underwear i crawled through the cage of the police car. Dont get drunk be fore you get drunk.
Best elective surgery ever. Having a great time ignoring girls' pleas to pull out and blowing it inside anyway. I like to watch them absolutely freak out and go batshit crazy for 20 mins before I mention the snip-snip surgery. Power trip.
Last comment. I know of no exercises, diets or practices out there to help keeping balls young and healthy. They simply succumb to gravity.
Haha he was not a poor little guy. If he'd talked to me or something I might feel bad. But since I saw him groping other girls as well as myself there's no sympathy coming from me
He's just picking out the right girl. I do the same thing with fruit. Grope them, squeeze them, smell them. I have to know I'm getting quality fruit.
I gave the bathroom attendant $5 last night for turning the sink on for me. What. The. Fuck.
YOU WOULD BE SEEING ME. IN MY KITCHEN. BENDING OVER MY OVEN. MAKING YOU CAKE.
Wait, that's an option?
In the officer's defense, I was indeed pantless at the time he cuffed me, but there's a perfectly good explanation.
you were on a whole other level. you went home with him because he said "you got some light ass eyes"
I used your vibrator when you were out of town. Now I know why you always come out of your room smiling.
I'm too pretty to be this sexually frustrated.
Randomize
