yo i have your phone
... oh so you probably won't get this message
Just saw a car with license plate GYPSYS that was full of gypsies
i can smell the iron from margo's period blood from across the table.
she looked like she should be chained to micheal vicks radiator
Dude you just tried to have a one night stand with my ex girlfriend while we were trying to put you to bed upstairs.
but that still doesn't explain how i woke up on the couch down stairs.
i have some very unhappy turtles in my backseat
Why am I getting the stink eye from these people? They're acting like BYOB isn't kosher in a laundromat.
I'm fucking an ugly guy. Don't come home.
well now I have to
There is ecstasy everywhere. Get over here right no5w. The 5 is silent.
Alright, my brain isn't sure how to properly function on a Wednesday with no hangover and more than 3 hours of sleep.
of course! give me a few hours to recover from chugging a 4loko out of a frisbee, and it will be rage time yet again
I'm turning into an adult here.
Adults touch each other's special zones.
My heart says buy the granny panties, but my vagina says don't throw in the towel yet.
I know that you sometimes make decisions based on comedic effect, but losing your virginity shouldn't be one of them.
Im selling my dirty underwear to pay for that cruise. NO JUDGEMENT . I love you lol ❤❤ also dont tell anyone
Randomize
