Why were you high on a thursday?
today's a wednesday
I asked first.
There is no way he is gay with that hair.
names aren't important. just tell him all you want is a lil make out sesh and keep it moving.
there needs to be a build-a-bong store...
We found him pissing on the sidewalk in his socks signing the national anthem. I love you summer.
The cardboard box in my backseat wasn't strong enough to keep your pee contained. Come clean my car.
i told him i should keep a toothbrush at his house for after all the times i threw up there. he said yes but i wasnt getting a key to the apt
You pulled out a fucking recorder and started playing along with all the songs on your playlist and refused to hit the j
The only flat surface we had was a cheez it box so we snorted the blow off of that. Rock bottom really isn't that bad.
He threw me over his shoulder and carried me outside, all the while drinking from the bottle of rum he was holding, while my ex watched. I'm winning the break-up.
Um, when I went down on you it got stuck there. Still had gum in my mouth. Didn't exactly have use of my hands to assist
I have an empty apartment, Chinese food, and fresh batteries in my vibrator. There's nothing on this earth that could lure me out tonight.
When's the last time you had sex near some ducks?
Its that time in the evening when I've had a few cocktails and wish you'd make a video about the packers and Jack Daniels.
You and I both know it takes more than prescription narcotics to keep our family down. See you around ten, brother.
Randomize
