Would it be quicker to bike the freeway home?
yeah for some reason your penis didn't fit in my mouth the other day
i want to fuck
?
it's pretty self explanatory
You went to the wrong car, tried to open the locked door, and started crying because you thought we were playing a mean trick. Then the owner came...
Their flight hasn't even left yet and the 'buy food to keep yourself alive' budget is gone on tequila.
you will always have a special place in my vag
Theres a picture of you hanging up on the wall in mcdonalds, i'm impressed
i feel like this needs to be a 'lose some teeth' kind of weekend.
That gas station is used for only two things, picking up moonshine and getting murdered. Only two outcomes.
Dude she said she'd let me snort a line off her ass now I just have to wait for them to break up
His dick's name has evolved from Sebastian to Big Daddy to Barbara Streisand to Barbara Walters. I think the transformation is finally complete.
I need to thank someone for this kid's penis.
Listen, I've got balls in my face can I call you back
Stop talking and go back to bed. You're in the kitchen in your underwear and slept in your car.
I think my stomach is breaking up with me. It's giving me back everything I ever gave it.
Randomize
