Just saw truck nuts on a handicap conversion van
I still havent given him the valentines day card i got him. I feel like just writting...."sorry for the horrible blow job i gave u last night." and just giving it to him.
headbutted the bartender, tried to bite the bouncer, and pissed on a cops shoes. and i still got laid. god, it's good to be home
Nah, I'm just going to keep fucking him until he realizes we're perfect for each other.
someone lit off fireworks while I puked in the street. I was like congratulating me for making it through homecoming.
new girl just came onto the hall stumbling drunk with no shoes on and the guy who brought her doesn't have them either
The last thing I remember is stabbing him with his diabetes medicine
They just kept handing me shots and saying welcome to college
let's just say if he has a penis and he hypothetically needs to put it somewhere... i would take care of that for him.
If man night ends at some point, hit me up and let me prove my vagina still exists.
No she left bc the of pic I have of my mom in my bathroom. She thought it was my gf
Why the hell do you have a picture of YOUR MOM in your bathroom?!?!
WAKE UP!!! We have 20 minutes to get to class. That means we only have 10 minutes to get drunk.
I slid a quarter down a drunk man's butt crack last night. Qdoba gets rowdy
Last time I had a one night stand he ended up stalking me for two months.
So you're not picking up this weekend?
This weekend, I am Angela, visiting from Calgary. We'll have to roleplay this.
I couldn’t resist. He had a camouflage condom. You know I love a man in a uniform
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