separated laundry into 'got laid' and 'didn't get laid' piles.
FYI : beer farts in the morning chase women right out of bed!
for future reference: anal bleach BEFORE boozing
I just puked while everyone was releasing balloons. Im to hungover for this memoial service. Rest in peace great gramps.
Also on a more serious note, what says pull my hair more: straight or soft curls?
Im still alive. Just can't talk. Or move. No need to worry
Trying to find a reliable dealer on Rockfordmugshots.com. Guy arrested for 15 grams of coke could be him !
You realize those people have been ARRESTED recently. right.
Day drinking is so dangerous way too many construction workers out there to flirt with
Spring Fling is on 420. The theme better be 'Flower Child'.
I want there to be fog machines and unicorns.
how many times have i told you.. they dont like when you laugh during sex
Is selling savings bonds for acid money something a normal person does?
I appreciate alcohol much more now that I have to be sober sometimes
Their first impression of me was that I was completely naked. So yeah college hasn't even started yet and I'm already that person.
he was the first penis i touched… i have to go to his shitty bands first gig, i mean come on now
Please tell me that nice older woman you're with at the bar is not your comp&lit professor.
Randomize