I woke up in a strange girl's bed and rifled through her mail to get her name.
Will you still be my friend if I read and enjoyed Twilight?
No
his penis looked like arnold from hey arnold. it was interesting.
i came out of the bathroom and he had christmas lights wrapped up his leg, around his boner, and down the other side
Hey, you guys have all had chicken pox, right?
He wouldn't give me a cup of water for my bong so i sat in the drive thru to run up the timer until he gave it to me.
so i guess now we know you can get away with peeing mere feet from the Capitol if you shout IM PREGNANT at the guards
No, they seem attractive after SIX beers, after three they're just the gender you're looking for.
It's like wanting to be a vampire vs being a vampire. You don't know the cock lust until it's infected you.
Soooo we should kick it sometime when it's like light outside. Drink outta cups.. Be bitches. 7, 6, 3, 5.. 4, 2, 1... Sschhkiddaellladiieessscchk
I can't even spell what he said he was on. And I had to call 4 people before someone had heard of it.
If I die, sorry about rent.
We broke into a construction site had sex on a scissor lift and realized it was a church...tomorrow again??
you scattered cereal all over the floor so you could "re-trace your steps and figure out what happened." 20 min later you yelled about the mess and let the dog in to clean it up. 5 min after that you screamed since the cereal was gone. you suspected me and locked me in the bathroom so i could "think about what i'd done"
and you bit everyone who tried to let me out. no more tequila for you. EVER.
Step one: We finally agreed on an au pair that we both wanna fuck.
Randomize
