Sorry I totally forgot to text you back. When you texted me I was at work at the pharmacy and it was stupid busy. And then of course I had my 8 hour "shoot me b/c half of Loyola comes in to buy plan B" shift.
i'm trying to figure out what goes best with beef ramen. a 2007 merlot or a 2008 pinot noir? i'm leaning toward the pinot noir.
he just voluntarily told me he was uncircumsized.. and that his favorite color was blue.
I put bits of fruit cocktail in the jello shots i made because i knew that they were gonna be the only thing we ate all day
Mom said you looked used
gladiator or hannah montana?
This is why I never have to ask who you are when I get a new phone.
Please just fuck her. She's new to LA and doesn't know anyone nice.
I woke up in an apt hallway this morning and a nice lady brought me coffee cause she thought I was homeless
I should have made a run for it. Seriously who calls the cops on themselves and goes to jail. ...on a Monday.
We ended up at a lesbian bar and all my co-workers tried to get me laid. This is not how I envisioned coming out.
I found a video on my phone from last night... You got up on the table at McDonald's and screamed BURRITOOO!
Last year you twerked on my Christmas tree and threw up all over the bathroom...in front of my parents. We should probably keep power hour to ONLY an hour this year
I spilled a whole plate of queso and salsa on my bed so I'm just eating it off my sheets with chips. How's your night going?
Unless it involves a lot of whiskey, an ACDC concert, and a guy named Juan from the Philippines, then I'm not interested.
she passed out standing next to the car. her head hit the door so hard the alarm went off. she instantly snapped out of it and started sprinting away
Randomize
