oh good, I think they're gone
the painters?
my herpes
She's hot and she went to Notre Dame. I want to fuck the Catholic right out of her
you went up to their shower, tripped in it, accidentally turned it on and then claimed that you like to "test everyone's showers"
Some are given great drunkenness. Others have great drunkenness thrust upon them, in the form of ice storms.
He pocket texted me while I was blowing him in the car...What are the odds?
Considering how often you blow him,high.
I feel like I've been drunk all of June. And I am in NO WAY ashamed about it.
I'll have my TA grade the tests, she needs something to do anyway. Wanna race to the bar on segways?
I want to break his glasses with my pelvis.
What happened to my knees?
You ate shit in front of the homeless people. They applauded.
I'm gonna take a crap in the portashitter like a civilized human being.
"What's your dick like homie" is not really an acceptable thing to say out loud
Definitely ended up doing Coke with Chewbacca in the porta potty behind the haunted house.
I described my life as a 7 layer cake of death
We watched ESPN, hooked up, got waffles. You know, a typical weekend.
You know how last week before we left I was drinking outta that blue cup and I left it sitting across the road. Well, it hadn't moved and my family just found it, brought it inside and cleaned it. I think this cup is my soulmate.
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