hey got me stoned for the first time when i was 14. there is no bond stronger
it was really bad. he went around saying "I want you inside of me" to everyone.
That bad?
Full length cargo pants, running shoes, and a partial unibrow. Alcohol really is blinding.
And your hair- I'd make sure to pee on it first.
You insisted on drinking champagne out of the dog bowl
In an m&m suit playing manhunt drunk. And you thought you werent guna have a good time
So, the officer that worked my wreck, I'm rockin his world tonight. He saw me high on morphine in the ER. So he knows my level of crazy. Think he'll agree to wear his gun?
So many things can go wrong tonight.
i ended up making out with my new neighbor in a stranger's car that we found unlocked on a driveway somewhere. apparently drunk self never say "no" to adventure.
I don't know anybody that can get the cops to drive them back to the bar after being pulled out of a tree
it happenes
I've woke up with the same hoodie on backwards, twice this week. I think that's a record
He finally delivered on the dick pic, and Jesus Christ, it was worth the wait.
I just want to sit in my tub, drugged out of my mind, and watch the green lantern cartoon while the world as we know it ceases to exist outside my bathroom door, Okay? Is that REALLY too much to ask?
that is our friendship pylon, do not lose it
fuck you.
DO NOT LOSE IT
Um I got a ride home from the bar with two random boys and one tried to bang me on my parents riding mower
He was eating me out on a picnic table on the frame lake trail and right after I came, a group of hikers walked around the corner. Stood up just in time
And this is one of the many reasons why you need a car.
Randomize
