Pre-pickelized cucumber-hand invasion!! RUN!!!!!!!!!!
why is every porn film shot in the same house? with the same red couch!?!
I just had to explain to my father, how having two screens plugged into my computer doesn't use more internet.
no, i dont want the owner to like me bc i dedazzled my vagina
i was so drunk that there were 2 of her, and i didn't know which one to fuck
So there is a chick dressed up in a vagina costume handing out free condoms next to the dude handing out free Bibles and preaching about sin. I love college.
I knew it was time to leave Waffle House when you started singing "What's Your Fantasy" to your hash browns.
Woke up next to a half eaten California burrito. It was tucked in.
If it makes you feel any better... I have a friend who found out her mom was in the video for 2 Live Crew's "Pop That Pussy"
just saw a sign in the bar that says "no more naked fridays". Where the fuck was I on these naked fridays?
It's hard to hold down the snapchat button for video while thrusting. Sorry if the cinematography wasn't Oscar-worthy.
he had shaved armpits. I repeat: HE SHAVED. HIS. ARMPITS! First hookup of 2014 and it's with a weirdo. Alcohol:1 Me:0
Good night I hope you dream about knitting and threesomes
It was a great party. People were literally still doing shots and playing drunk Jenga at 6am...
so on the street and some kid is chanting "cheeseburger, cheeseburger, cheeseburger!" while pumping his fist in the air. i agree.
Randomize