just wanted to thank u for shitting in my dads bidet last night. i had to manually scoop ur shit out of it. btw ur dumped.
my sister and i are watching a movie and pregaming together. and by pregaming i mean shes not drinking since she 14 and im drinking alone.
everyone at work keeps looking at me like they know I got the herp this weekend
Not going to lie- I'm a little freaked out camping right now. This is one of those high activities you don't do by yourselves...or close to bears
It feels like I'm being stabbed in the uterus with a rake. That night was totally worth it though. Thanks.
I am debating about my sub. I am not quite sure I can be the dom he needs.
She seriously left me for a guy that likes his own statuses on facebook.....
No just a slight sexual miscommunication which led to a little (lot) vomiting by one party and a bruised sternum on the other party involved.
I can't even make a guess how that goes.
I need a full description of the guy I hooked up with. I don't think I ever saw his face
he seemed brazillian..
fuck.
My sunday was babysitting three big, drunk, crying Swedes. Unless your day involved four or more giant drunk swedes I don't want to hear about it.
Cleaning naked can be dangerous. Vacuum cord got stuck on my belly button ring...
He came so fast i dont think he got it all the way in. He apologized and gave me his favorite baseball card.
They are like the regular squirrels and we are flying squirrels
I am not even ashamed to say it, I got laid in the stairwell of the hotel, by a 29 year old. It was awesome!
He ate me out in a limo while we were driving home. I love bars being open again!
Randomize
