Did you know that cab drivers don't take quarters for payment? They don't even like it when you ask.
Instead of peeing my cute lil blue panties I peed in the train parking lot in front of an asian.
I love my bros weed
Im gonna hate it in like 20 mins though
Did I get blown in the bathroom? Yes. Did she throw up cranberry juice on my shorts? Yes. Did she finish the job? Yes.
and if it starts getting weird im just going to tell him i used to be a man
I wasn't concerned until I realized he was using the vase my birthday flowers came in as a " big glass" for his 151 and coke.
My ex was there, the 2 girls I'm seeing showed up and I had a pocket full of VIP passes 2 the strip club. Had all the makings of an epic night but I fell asleep at the bar.
Obviously he considers you not fucking him as fucking up. Thus making him fuck up. Based on this I believe he should be disqualified from the race to your vagina.
sometimes when you're high at work you just have to say fuck it and eat the dog treats
Haha sweet. I'm being the Mad Hatter. I'll be drinking out of a tea cup all night. Or at least until I inevitably lose it, break it, or use it as a weapon.
I added a U.S. Senator on snapchat....casual.
I opened my bookbag to put my laptop in and I found two granola bars and a pregnancy test. I am clearly prepared for life
Something about finishing sexting a guy and him going "well. I have to get ready for Passover now" really makes me rethink my life choices
Why would you call when you knew I'd be having sex!?
Why would you answer?
I really wanna treat my body good. Because i plan on doing drugs
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