You kept excitedly announcing to the bar what time it was. Followed by an equally excited "Clock language still makes sense!"
Before you ask, yes. Whatever you're wearing IS too slutty for his mom's funeral.
WHAT DO YOU MEAN I DIDN'T APOLOGIZE? THERE WAS A PEACE OFFERING MADE VIA TACO BELL.
I'll just dance on top of the ping pong table, and if it's stable enough for that, then it's stable enough for sex
Also I have uncooked pasta. I was hoping that could get cooked at your place. Don't ask about the circumstances that I came into ownership of uncooked pasta
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
I still can't believe he came down from his hiding place in the tree voluntarily because he didn't want us to have to talk to the cops alone...
The video of him doing the dougie made me telling him I didn't want a relationship, just his virginity so much easier.
Casually on the bus at 830 in the morning with a box of cheezits and a bottle of fireball sticking out of my purse....
I love you too! Remember NO alcohol or weed at my residence because of legal ramifications.
He stole my heart. I stole his identity.
learning about efficiency and effectiveness in an administration seminar. real world application: walking across the street to the pub on break to shotgun a beer.
I must be really high or they really did just bring me a banana split instead of a burger
I just tried to lit a bowl with my chapstick.
cinco de mayo stole my toenail
cinco de mayo stole my virginity.
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