K I think ***** turned off her phone. Guess I can't make her feel any more miserable tonight so I'm goin to sleep
in pain and im wearing pink underwear
so?
i dont own pink underwear
he pointed at my clit and asked with a confused face, 'whats this thingy??"
Too much gin, very little bucket
I had another sleeping on concrete incident.
I may have been to starbucks and 2 classes with balls still written on my face...
until you tell me otherwise ill assume we're playing "cavity search" the homeland security game to spice up our sex life
It was almost as bad as the time I peed on the floor of the Pentagon's subway station.
My dad wants to dress like mitt Romney tomorrow night and tell trick or treaters they owe him candy.
I'm all for hockey players but dude, he asked me to lick his chipped tooth mid-hook up.
5 minutes Isn't even long enough to bring me even close to an orgasm. How selfish. Think about baseball and fuck me you idiot.
Taking dicks and breaking hearts, no better life
BUT DID YOU RIDE THAT DICK INTO THE SUNSET THO?
She was all for the threesome til I showed her a pic of my boyfriend. I think I should re-evaluate my life decisions.
I CAN’T BELIEVE YOU STUCK YOUR DICK IN CRAZY!
Randomize
