So im pretty sure the object of my emotional onterest is tired of playing with me....
I totally ignored my nose and drank sour milk this morning. The tupid carton said 4/22/09. i puked everywhere..
I'm jammin out to some Brit Birt, she's still my bitch, I love her crazy ass
Megan Fox is the only woman I would let pee on me.
I'm similar. She's the only woman I'd ask to pee on me.
Ok yeah you're right. I'd ASK Megan Fox to pee on me. I'd ALLOW Erin Andrews to pee on me if she asked.
I can only be a whore so many days outta the week.
Samesies
I just asked my hair stylist how many percocets she'd do my hair for.
There are many reasons why he shouldn't come over. And each one is longer than his penis.
And it just wouldn't be a Thursday night without me having to cuss out a foreigner. The streak continues.
Literally lying on a futon being hand fed bacon
Fuck you.
I caved man... I fucked her so vigorously, desperately trying to correct her wonky eye. My determination was relentless.
You are a terrible person.
I just try to be optimistic...
Got a text that the fed tax return dropped into my account just before getting on the first leg of my flights the Vegas. Fate? Viva Las Vegas!
I'm working on a search warrant...can u pick up box of Chardonnay...I'll give u cash when u get here...
Yea... I love that ur a prosecutor and drink box wine
I'm currently in h&m wondering "what exactly is the class level of a swingers resort?"
They found me wandering around campus screaming body shots over and over again wrapped in a curtain
IT'S LIKE LOOKING INTO GOD'S VAGINA!!!!
Randomize
