I don't think ill make it tonight the floor wont let me walk
we fucked to don't stop believing. most epic sex EVER.
His dick was as big as my arm. Giving him a handjob was like giving someone an Indian sunburn.
Just to give you a heads up, I am going home with your ex-boyfriend.... You can't be mad because he was my ex-boyfriend first
Midnight run for medical supplies ended several hours later with a lapdance to the Braveheart soundtrack.
I hope my shame shaped pee stain outside your door goes away soon.
what kind of one night stand wants to walk you home in the morning? whole diff kind of walk of shame.
Well my friend Jon slept on the couch and I slept next to my cooked lean pocket on the carpet
Also, even though this really sucks now, we will look back on this one day and laugh at the time we all got arrested on Thanksgiving
Yuck. My throat feels like someone chucked a couple of Maltov cocktails down it and finished it off with a super soaker filled with Jameson.
URGENT INPUT I'm at a renesance fair after party and I'm 100% lined up to fuck their sword swallower OR their contortionist. Dont say both - which direction doth I roll?
Whether ya want it or not, it's gonna happen. Assimilate to the gay
Woke up to the frozen soundtrack blasting in the living room best one night stand ever
every day is bullshit and fuck everyone. That's my motto for the week
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
Randomize
