just graduated on the spot on the quad where I vommed freshman year. full circle
I have so much shit FLYING through my head. They're all in magic carpets and everything
For public speaking we have to bring an object that describes us to class. Can't decide if I wanna bring a flask or a shot glass.
Well you know it's going to be an interesting night when the bathroom attendant is doing hail marrys
It feels like there's puke trying to explode out of me from behind my eyeballs.
Girl at work pointed out that the blood vessels around my eyes were all popped and I smell like puke
If it makes you feel any better... I have a friend who found out her mom was in the video for 2 Live Crew's "Pop That Pussy"
You know the cave of wonders in Aladdin? That's how I feel about his apartment. Except with blow and other treasures.
Awkward sister question: which game of thrones female left would you fuck?
It just makes me feel nauseous. And I don't want to feel nauseous when all I really want is to get off.
My FitBit tracked the calories I burned during sex. Hello 2015!
We just got busted fucking in the hammock by his roommate...I'm so out of here as soon as hes asleep....
It's 9:07 in the morning and I am so hungover right now I'm about to take the kids I'm babysitting to mf'ing Popeyes bc that's all I want in this world
I woke up on the floor with 2 cartons of cigarettes, a box of chocolate bars, and a business card for a man named Larry. Don't remember him, but if the Rols on his card is his, I might throw him a mouth party...
If I wanna spend the whole night tied up and getting railed I'm allowed to do so
Randomize
