Do you ever close your eyes when your having sex with your girlfriend and pretend she didn't get fat after high school?
just found out my sister was breast fed and i was not...pretty upset about that.
so we told my parents we were going trick or treating. got high as shit at some playground. and then bought our own candy so we looked legit when we got home.
Just witnessed a circumcision at clinical. i suddenly feel a sense of reconciliation over every guy who's done me dirty...
I don't think we should have started that trash fire
If you ever find a dick that big chop it off and bring it to me.
since you saved your number in my phone as "the hot chick you met last Friday" I don't know who you are either
Would a ten year old streaker be inappropriate?
That's the stuff legends are made of
Adults smoke weed in footie pajamas man. You just gotta accept me for who I am.
Promise me you will not let me do anything sexual with or to a mini horse no matter how drunk we get. Ever.
Nautical themed porn is also great bc someone usually wears a captains hat
Nipple rings and loofahs DO NOT mix.
Are you vicariously golddigging through me?!
If she didn't block me, she would have known that I sneezed on her toothbrush.
I'm sorry but it's something you and your A cups wouldn't understand.
Randomize
