Hot guy, man whore rep, huge crush, alcohol that will fuck you up. I fail to see how this could go wrong
Sorry i'm not sorry i made out with your dad. It was father's day weekend, get a grip
as it turns out, there is no "i was in the pool" excuse for adderall-induced shrinkage.
Apparently I gave him a 'Steve jobs blowjob'
We found her hiding in the bath tub.. And when i opened the curtain she replied "thank you" and walked out like nothing happened.
He's had mdma poured down his throat. He's getting huggy.
I just stuck my fingers down her throat so she could puke. I mean what are friends for
Oh my god she just threw up on her dog
You BETTER NOT STEAL MY MOTHERFUCKING SQUIRREL
Out of all the people in the house to show their tits at mcdonalds to try and get free food, they picked those two?
There was an unopened condom by my car when I went to pick it up this morning. Someone may have fucked on the hood of my car last night. Don't think it was me but I can't rule it out 100%.
Lets trade lives
And i will lay in bed and piss all over everywhere, drink whiskey and have sex with married bears
SHUN THE NONBELIEVERS. THUS SAYS THE NIPPLE LORD
I tried to breakup with him by telling I had a threesome. He one upped me by saying he had a 5-some so I couldn’t do it.
I woke up under the stretchy sheet like the corners were still stuck under the bed. I had to wiggle the corners off in order to get up. I was trapped. how did that happen
i'll...probably just offer you drugs?
i'll...probably take them in all honesty
Randomize
