I plan on using my big titties for evil tonight.
did he really ask u insert a warm banna in ur anal?
he just kept going up to random asian girls and yelling at them for breaking up the beatles
We decided to smoke and then made crosses on our foreheads for ash wednesday
mom would be proud
He asked me to grab his balls and yell "thats a spicy meat-a-ball" Last time I do requests.
I just had to dig under a pile of condoms in my desk drawer to get to a blue book. Summer is officially over.
With the amount of g's you put on going I'm gonna guess you're drinking alone again
When theres a zombie apocalypse, i will be the only fat survivor. I ate chef boyardi ravioli with part of a pen for a fork
There's a woman at the bar holding a baby with one arm and doing shots of GM with the other. The baby is crying. I have lost faith in humanity.
we didnt plan anything. just randomly met up in the park, both reached into our pockets and each lit up a joint without exchanging words. we're telepathic potheads.
Great. I will show up in your office wearing only oven mitts later today.
cops tried arresting me on the way to class this morning.. this is my life.
is there a line between daddy kink and oedipus complex?
I'm tripping pretty hard right now but every time a Volvo drives by I feel like everything is gonna be alright
I just want you to know you're the worst sister ever.
If this is about me and your ex, it's not my fault she doesn't like men.
Randomize
