what's Bukake?
a bad idea.
Then she called me a home wrecking whore.
dont they live in a condo? that doesnt count.
how come everytime i call mom shes doing tequila shots
It's just like riding a horse. A very tall, gay horse.
Go ahead. I tried to back up ur budhism story but she mite be catching on
Dammit. I hoped that would work. Just tell her I'm doing my pilgrmidge to Nepal or something.
Your "OraGel will numb anything" theory was the worst thing I ever believed in.
Just met me in 10 years...this lady keeps an emergency wine cooler in her bag
130 PACKAGES of glow sticks! The going rate of a rave is $38.30! GET READY FOR THE GLORGY!!!!!!!!!!!!
Sex should always be followed by Chinese food in bed.
I'm high and I have a consensual booty call on the way and just thought that it was a good time to let you know that I think that you are a stellar person.
so, i guess i gotta chill on showing up to work hungover... someone anonymously left a bible in my work mailbox (no one else got one)
got a free grilled cheese. Didn't even have to talk about Jesus
He's just been a dick since he set his face on fire. I just wanted to eat a fucking hot dog.
Still riding the magical train of drugs so, yeah, Id say I feel great
My parents heard a lamp fall and crash and the dogs were barking like crazy so my mom got up to check. she found you peeing in a corner by the tv. And you kept shhhing her.
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