Just soaked up some whiskey with a paper towel and then squeezed it into a cup for consumption. New low.
dude why did you let me call her?!
i told you it was a bad idea and to quote you exactly, you said "no, it's a good idea..that's what people do when they love each other." you met her 15 minutes prior to that conversation...
I've been watching anime, masturbating and eating nutella for three days. I hope she never comes back.
About six hours after the bottle of smirnoff, I was googling "losing your stomach lining" and calling my mom for help. She has experience.
I just sent you a google doc listing all the reasons why I should stop hooking up with him. Feel free to add to it.
Made dad pull of the highway twice on the way home so I could puke. Yeah i'd say we ended the semester well.
Dude I've kinda accepted I may leave Nola with the clap.
She just kept introducing me to people by telling them which of their friends I've fucked
I don't think that calm, have their shit together people actually exist.
I think I fell asleep on the dance floor at one point...but played it off cool and acted like I just did the robot.
I fell asleep completely naked, standing up with my arms and head in the freezer
You're the only person I know who's experienced a micropenis and a magnum XL penis
I realized today that the only things I'm guaranteed to have with me at all times are lipgloss, condoms and a USB drive. hmmm...
I'm tired of you and your emotional constipation. WHY DO YOU CLOSE YOUR EYES WHEN WE MAKE LOVE!?
So I figured it out. There's two types of shitters. Moaners and grunters. And on occasion there's a third. It's the ill fabled grunt moaner.
Randomize