First time i ever had an awkward silence during sex.
you know what its like when everyone is chanting "do it, do it"...still friends?
No one actually likes Tequila. They just accept it as a fact of life. Like hpv.
Hmmm just stalked him and according to his facebook he wants "whatever he can get." obviously he'd be open to the idea.
He crawled in my bed this morning, ate me out, and even brought me a panera deli sammie for lunch at school. I don't care what he lied about, all is forgiven him.
Im rolling a blunt of encouragement for you to return to
I just woke up in my ex-boyfriends bed, with my new boyfriends jersey on. I love March maddness.
Has my life seriously led me to day drinking on a Monday the third week of the semester?
It's after 5, it's not day drinking.
What does puking wasabi feel like?
Like snorting cocaine backwards.
He was dressed up as Jesus and had vodka in one hand while he was blessing everyone and splashing them with holy water in the bathroom.
Had to immediately delete the Bevmo email because I can't even look at an email about alcohol right now.
No, just kidding. But your faith in me to throw a lesbian bridal shower makes me think I an pull it off. To the LGBT bar!
I need to be her Aladdin, and show her the world. The sex world.
I woke up naked with a Jason mask on and a fat lip. What happened last night?
He had been licking my nipple for like 5 minutes and it wouldn't get hard. He asked me to lick my own and when I did, instant hardness. I realized I'd rather have sex with myself then this guy ..
Randomize
