So we made editble underwear with fruit roll ups and fruit by the foot
And then falling down drunk the next morning, concussing yourself and splitting your head open?
That was pretty sad, but you more than made up for it by using "concussing" in a sentence
nutella sex= disaster
Sketchest drug deal yet.... I just got paid in quarters and chucky chesse tokens. I need to stop hooking my friends up.
U asked everyone for their hoodies so u could "safely hug the cactus"
Just puked up hair, tacos and vodka. Hello Memorial Day weekend.
We're at the hospital. She got a head rush and fell and now blood everywhere. Smoke the rest, just save her a bowl
i know. like I have the nerve to talk about poverty. I eat peanut butter out of the jar.
I gave a very stressed out cashier a mini bottle from my purse the day after Christmas. It's what Jesus would have done.
You're a good person. Sharing is caring.
Three Asian guys got on the elevator with a handle of Hennessey and a sleeping bag. This is not the start of a joke.
He's like a hurricane
a drunk, sexist, hurricane
YOU CAN'T JUST ADD EVERYONE WHO ENTERS MY VAGINA ON FACEBOOK WTF
Why do I know about what dicks have been in your mouth but didn't know you had a dog? What kind of friends are we??
You got into an extremely loud argument with a juggalo and slapped him, he started crying and everyone cheered.
I remember that, it happened before I started drinking. I thought you said I did something shameful?
Almost gave myself a concussion stealing a stuffed unicorn hanging on a street sign but hey I got home safe
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