She's the rare girl who loses weight and gets uglier.
you tried to do a keg stand and ended up flipping over it and onto the table
my ass has officially been on the floor of every fraternity on this campus
and who said we didn't have goals?
She walked in, looked at the bed, sniffed, sighed, and went to grab her cleaning supplies. I'd say she knows.
i had to write a bad check to buy franzia last weekend. i have my priorities in line.
Please tell me what happened last night... specifically who told me it was a good idea to pee in my shoe.
He was sitting at the table eating ice and said, "I'm pretty sure everyone in my family has nipples."
Being at this bar with grandma is a real cockblocker
im swimming of confusion and bacardi. where do i go from herrrrrre
Welp I just blew a load probably the size of a small pond if not a lake
Who the fuck is this
Jared is "trying to bite a strangers hat off" drunk. Oh, and that stranger is a girl at a table of 5 guys, one girl.
Some people say 6pm is too early to get drunk. To them I say this dinner is delicious.
I came back and almost ran over two people passed out in my driveway I've never met before in my life
We couldn't find the paddle I had gotten so he just spanked with my tennis raquet
It's a good thing vaginas don't have taste buds
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