i fuckib htae you, you church bitch.
Dude, don't freak out but the girl who stuck the hair brush in her ass is here. I can't look her in the eye!!
I can text with my tongue
dude I just sharted for the first time ever, kind of gross
well what did you think, shitting your pants would be fun
Can one do a walk of shame from one's own hotel? Considering I just barfed in a planter down town in from of a bunch of business men in suits on my way to a work breakfast on a Wednesday morning, I am gonna just go with yes.
this just proves how much faith i have in "us".. what should we be for halloween..?
do you still have a key to my apartment? Without going into too much detail locked myself out naked on the patio, currently using a deck cushion to cover myself so kids walking home from school dont see me
She roared AMY HORNEY and hulk hoganed her shirt off. Fuckin marriage time bro
All hell broke loose. When the police showed up, this kid somehow haggled with a cop to let him pee in public. I'm convinced he could talk the panties off of a nun
So how exactly do I backtrack from motorboating and ass grabbing?
Just threw up in the trash can at my desk. I guess "beating the hangover" eventually leads to this.
Have you ever drank bourbon in your underwear while wearing a Santa hat and reflecting on the decisions of your life? Asking for a friend.
They already have a joint checking account. She's got his balls in her purse! What's next, a shared Facebook account?
So he has moved up to a stage 5 clinger...Surprised he didn't try to lure you into bed with tacos, like he did last time
Yeah... akward. I don't want a round 2
How can I prove that I give 401k advice and not handjobs?
Randomize
