I'm cheating on the girl I'm cheating on my girlfriend with
So thats when I found out ur supposed to put the penut butter on your balls not your dogs balls, feels alot better
I have taken lazynest to a new level. I took a picture of the notes on the board instead of writing them. I win.
He asked me If i had cheated on my boyfriend when I said no he said it's like he doesnt know me anymore
i remember too much of last night for it to have been successful
Idk. Im in a bed. the walls are wood. There's a deer mount.. im afraid to turn over and see who's next to me but he's violently cuddly.
I woke up this morning to a lot of blurry photos of a swan i must have chased down the riverbank and a handbag full of loose haribo.
I made $130 by ordering two pizzas and charging them $10 a slice. If they weren't so stoned they might have realized they could have just ordered another pizza for $20.
I woke up this morning with a tampon in my nose and food EVERYWHERE...
I told you you to bring something to share....you brought tequila and a condom
Split a bottle of Johnny Walker and then decided to eat a shit ton of peanut butter. That was a rough bed to wake up in
They have beer where we have blood.
I honestly didn't think living in Canada would change me, until I found myself watching hockey porn
I woke up while she was taking a panoramic photo of my morning wood
He woke me with blue berry pancakes and a blow job. He's a keeper.
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