Call me when you're up
Great dream, you were in it
Well I'm going to a gay club in my banana suit. You should come. My bro is going as a pirate. I don't know if there's a theme.
Next weekend I am getting a library card and staying my whore ass home.
just took my abortion antibiotic with my martini. i no longer wonder how i got into this situation.
I think i found piece of your tooth in my dick this morning when i took a shower
Hello you've reached the get a clue corp. Our business hours are from take a hint to figure it out, eastern standard time. If you prefer to leave a message, don't, call back when you're not crazy, fat, and annoying.
Idk if you've ever had the pleasure of 1. Vomiting on a sidewalk - at 3 in the afternoon 2. Vomiting nachos or 3. Vomiting nachos out of your nose but really I do not advise any of the above.
And all I wanted you to do is stand there and sing who let the dogs out.
He got me coffee AND filled up my gas tank. He must've fucked another girl in my car..
Sometimes you get drunk and fall out of a car. I never said it was glamorous.
I sincerely hope you find your fuck buddy and have a wonderful night of champagne and whores
We're going as conductors of the hot mess train and nobody rides for free
Our tip jar will say "just put the tip in, see how it feels"
I didn't want sex last night, but she charmed my dick out of my pants like a snake charmer.
But of course I'm in. After all, what fun would the holidays be without trying to find the perfect gift to impress someone you've never met, but need the approval of??
If you wanna do actual business call my office. If you’re just looking to get laid you need to up your game
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