he got up in front of the whole lecture hall and yelled that Charlie Brown's Christmas tree was his favorite book in the history of the universe. then he stumbled out the fire exit setting the alarm off. I could've jumped him right then and there.
Just walked by a guy on campus YELLING 'Im still hammered'
She told me to stay away from him cause apparently he fucks anything that walks. clearly i responded with..."i walk"
The only reason I give him head is because I know i'll get a back rub.
wow.
But it's a REALLY good back rub.
Why do I love Florida? Because I just quit my job because it's too pretty a day to go to work and I'm going to the beach to eat seafood and drink beer.
Our innocent game of 'Duck, duck, booze.' ended up not being so innocent
She tried to leave the threesome and I heard you yell "Hey! We don't quit at halftime!"
and it seems i've caught your masturbating bug. thanks.
when you come home i just want to let you know we are cats now. and we are out of eggs.
DOMA is dead. I'm definitely going to be the last of our friends to get married now.
My very favorite thing in the whole world is when guys try to booty call her as I'm fucking her. Sucks to suck.
We fired a shoe out of a medieval cannon. I know not where we got either one.
Every time we have sex, I feel his dick ramming my soul into submission. Problem is..... I LIKE THAT SHIT!
"suitors" is just a nice way of her saying "the guys i'm fucking"
Newest quarantine problem - I’ve watched all of the porn. Like everything on the the internet, all the DVDs, mags, VR, leisure suit Larry all of it and I’m still horny af
Randomize
