i wonder how he feels talking to my mother about jesus with a condom on his dick
Dude, no matter how drunk you are, it's not okay to hug every other guy at a strip club. Mainly because boners are far too common.
I wish you could order shots online.
Don't judge me. If you're going to fall off a bed you might as well do it gracefully into a bag full of beer.
I just got a flashback from Saturday night of you helping me wash my feet in the bar's bathroom.
he just asked if we wanted to go to an arts and crats club with him tomorrow. every day it becomes harder for me to defend his sexuality
For months it was all good and well just having sex. Now, something in me has snapped and I'm dreaming of taking turtleneck Christmas pictures with him. Fuck you, we're going out tonight. I need this.
I'm pretty sure I got a cavity today due to how many times I've puked hungover at work.
her tits were more amazing then brown bears with armor and guns that fire bullets of Justice that destroys inequality.
how many times have i told you.. they dont like when you laugh during sex
True. So did you hook up with pasta or the ultimate warrior
Little bit of both
I couldn't fall back asleep it was too bright so I just took my sports bra off and put it over my eyes
Muscle is literally tearing itself off of my shins. No I am not going on another bar crawl with you.
I'll pay?
Pick me up at 9.
Taco Bell is better for you than cocaine, I promise.
I had to ask my mom to look for my kegle ball...
Randomize
