OMg patrick swayze is the sexuest man he is killing me I'm gonna get dehydrated if I don't stop looking at him
cant believe you said you would bone perez hilton
i said paris hilton
thats even worse
You can't like Harry Potter and Twilight. You have to pick. Vampires and Wizards are mutually exclusive.
so far i wrote 500 words for a paper on sean paul performing we be burnin..i can officially do anything on adderral
the fact that he forgave me for making out with the bartender is proof that i can fuck my way out of anything.
She is trying to turtle bite me and when I pull away she says just let it happen. Then she pulled a poptart out of nowhere
While I faked being asleep, he literally prayed to God out loud, asking for forgiveness for losing his virginity before marriage.
He's dressed as a power ranger handing out cocaine
Everything sucks i just wanna cry and smoke a bowl and pet my cat and die. All at the same time
Me and two guys that I made Eskimo bros all soberly slept together in my bed
"I vaguely remember the Health and Safety Inspector walking into my room this morning while I was passed out naked. That's one way to get it over with quickly."
I didn't know your ex looked like a male Khloe Kardashian?
My sister's exploding appendix just cock blocked me...
We were supposed fuck one time, but ended up fucking for 2 years.
It's okay to admit that you're into redheads.
Randomize
