I want to give my boyfriend great head for his birthday...can i practice on you?
Being drunk at the hospital is better than i expected. I got to hide and play in the little kids waiting area. Btw no one is hurt
It's because you were crossfaded. And because drinks were 3 dollars. And because they accepted credit cards.
Btw...pregnancy boobs are amazing. I don't recommend pregnancy in general but the boobs are good.
sleazy september. first one with mono loses.
My asshole is basically a geyser at this point. Minus the excitement. Plus blood.
I'm sorry, you might have to start setting aside some time in your day for my pussy.
So I was trying to finish off that sick uv whipped and I chased it with yogurt. Not a good idea
No more stories ab the wkend for co-workers... No one else found "and I didn't have pants on when I got home Saturday night" as funny as I did.
Just so you know the unusual amount of skittles on your floor is entirely your own fault. You bought me 20 bags of them while I was high.
Like, I want sex but I also would be okay with Netflix
I hate to be the bearer of bad news, but yours is no longer the biggest penis I've seen. It is however, still the prettiest.
well tomorrow I get to eat fungus and go to an abandoned city.
most people would fear that statement, but i wish to join you
We lost you in the bar so we waited outside for you...next thing you know you kick open the doors and yell "I'M ALIVE"
How do I stop your cat from bathing me? I'm afraid she'll get drunk off my sweat
Randomize
