First off: I'm drunk so fuck you. Second: you weren't a bad girlfriend. Tres: thats 3 in spanish. Number 4: fuck 3 Doors Down
He has some good qualities. Beneath the layers of asshole and fat.
he was walking around the bar drinking wild turkey and gobbling simultaneously
I take that as "no I'm not driving you to the bar in a blizzard"
The calves of my jeans are covered in jello shots from Sunday, how desperate do I have to be before I start licking them?
I've spent more money on drugs for bonnaroo than my actual ticket. Proudly.
I think I just used lyrics from the Sister Sister theme song to let a guy down easy...
If you feel like laying around and watching a movie, that's where I'll be for the next several hours not moving, blaming others, and generally feeling sorry for myself.
IF HE CAN'T EVEN MAKE EYE CONTACT IN CLASS, I DOUBT THERE WILL BE OTHER FORMS OF CONTACT ON OUR FIRST NOT-A-DATE DATE
also, I heard you can donate your eggs for like $8gs....hellloooo mediterranean vacation. thank youuuu future babies!!!
Dude the tree smoked with me. I planted the roach with it and smiled.
We have bigger issues at hand... Does anybody know someone in the kalamazoo area that is missing a pair of stilts ?
I'm having shoppers remorse over a dildo
He just said "I can't wait to penetrate you tomorrow" I sat in silence for a second...he attempted to save it by saying "I can't wait to enter you".
He said my vagina smelled like pomegranates. Its like my vagina is the fountain of youth.
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