The Worst (noun)- 1. Getting up at 6am after a night of drinking. 2. Wearing a Peter Rabbit costume.
forecast for tonight is alcohol, low standards and poor decisions.
well what she called a "work function" most people call "doing shots with your boss while people throw napkins at you."
im not going to any frat parties next semester. for once i want them to think its actually hard to get in my vagina
Guys, I'm sleeping in the BOYNTON LAUNDRY ROOM. if you can, come let me out in the morning as I have no keys. I might be in the study room possibly. DON'T FORGET. I will be trapped
Apparently the cops have a video of me singing bob seger "Night moves".
Im down. Even tho your nick name intimidates my vagina.
He passed out naked in my bathroom, then took a shower, then passed out again and then took another shower. Last time I let my brother visit.
Yeah. Not my best idea. But I'm hoping for the best . And by best, I mean not jail
I just learned how to imitate a trains smokestack. The downside is it makes you look like you ate cocaine. The upside is YOU LOOK LIKE A TRAIN
Did you send me a snapchat of your sister triple kissing two other girls?!!! You might be the greatest friend the world ever made
I'm going to fix your towel rack. I broke it while I was dancing on it.
I threw up off of your balcony and it must have been loud because the dog downstairs went insane.
you know you're a stoner girl when you get a callus from your grinder
I honestly don't understand how your night went from singing a touching rendition of Africa to an angry political rant to low key trying to find a frat boy to bang to doing dishes to yoga
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