I think your mom looks like a breed of donkey and elephant, but her boobs are perfect
What should our trivia night team be named?
Define Statutory
When I'm drunk i like to pretend my penis is zeus and instead of peeing i'm throwing lightning bolts into the toilet...it helps me focus.
There aren't nearly as many guys masturbating on chatroulette as i was led to believe...i feel cheated
I'm sober enough to realize she looks like a man, but drunk enough to do it anyways
mom just asked if we are going to need more kaluha as she pulls 5 out of the cupboard. this xmas might kill me
Some daaay... Bet your bottom dollar that some daaay you'll do that mollyyyy
The airport has the best people watching and munches... It should be a destination drinking location
Seriously. Texted me 4 times and that didn't wake me up so he nicely called and left a voicemail saying he WOULD call me 8 times. So when he called back I answered.
I think my brain has decided it's boycotting life until it can do whatever it wants.
She was drunk, dancing on the table. Until the table leg completely broke off and she fell on the ground and broke her front tooth straight off. Worse news is there making her pay for the table
It's really hard to tweet with a pussy in your face demanding attention.
1 fuck you 2 fuck her 3 ur forgiven 4 im breaking up with her
Truth. Though I have held steadfast to the notion while the rest of you wavered. I had faith in his homosexuality.
She asked me if I could do that to her every single time. I said nope. sometimes it's better.
Randomize
