Her vagina should come with caution tape.
HE COULDN'T FIND IT! WHAT KIND OF QUARTERBACK CAN'T FIND IT?!
I think a 5 ft pyramid of jello shots in honor of the egyptians is in order
Saddest moment ever is discovering when your cat no longer wants to get high with you.
You kept yelling "wood grain wheel" and grinding on fat chicks.
The hell is wrong with me
Being at this stripclub only reinforces how single I am. And I was *just* becoming okay with that.
your fridge is broken, your sock drawer is full of snow, and you flipped off the whole stadium on the big screen. I'd say it went well.
do i respond to the booty call for the guy with the bigger dick or the one who has the gourmet coffee i like so much? at this point i'm leading toward the coffee
Btw, I feel the need to make sure we have no misunderstanding about this. So here goes. I'll happily mess around with you again. However, I probably won't do it while you're dressed like a creepy clown. Or any clown.
That seems dangerous to buy acid from a stranger on craigslist
My apologies. I'll try not to let my dick interfere with official work duties in the future.
I'm drunk and he's still weird.
Thank god for Taco Bell keeping you out of jail
I have 4 more smokes and 6 more beers to go before I make a life changing decision like that.
I’m not lawful evil! I do evil things because I want to, not because of the law
Randomize
