New record: 45 minutes. Afterwards I played We Are The Champions while we cuddled.
My idea of sleeping together involves doing the Humpty Hump. Her idea of sleeping together focused more on being fully clothed on the opposite sides of a king sized bed.
do herpes really smell.
you told him you liked to chip your nail polish to look like different countries. im gonna guess that no, you didn't sleep with him.
dibs on John Mayer's hood pass
I just made easy mac in my blender. Beat that.
he urdandictionary'ed 'tease' on his phone and made me read through all the definitions. Am i really that bad?
You slept in the bed with him... with your top off.... and just made out with him....
If you fuck her, Im going to call you and I want you to cough 2 times.
It was like the perfect storm of bad decisions.
You know what, I don't care that I got too drunk and didn't make it into the boat party. If I had, I probably wouldn't have peed on you later while we soundly slept. I feel you need that in a best friendship.
I tried to settle their lesbian roommate fight by turning on Pretty Wild
I literally just woke up in a dog bed, in a bathtub in someone else's house...and I'm not wearing pants
Can u pick me up? Lost my keys.
Sure. FYI- you "lost" them on the roof, trying to throw them over the house.
dollar rum and cokes, see you on the dark side of infinity
Dude. why do I feel like I am cheating on you every time I do shrooms?
Randomize
