Why does lindsey know I was naked in the kitchen?
Do you think he likes his girlfriend's moustache?
Family of uber douches all wearing ed hardy in a hummer taking up 2 parking spots at starbucks. Please be more cliche
dude your girlfriend is running naked down the hall with a raw chicken taped to her stomach saying this is what I'll look like pregnant...run far far away
Like my mouth was on his pelvis connected to his balls that's how far it was
Just found a bag of weed nailed to the door that my dealer dropped off since I wasn't home. God I love Boulder.
Apparently my downstairs neighbors don't much appreciate it when I do drunk aerobics at 3am on a Wednesday...
No longer allowed at circus circus apparently fuvking in the elevator is frowned upon.
usual friday morning routine. the pants i wore last night are in my passenger seat and im rooting through the pockets trying to make exact change at the dunkin donuts drive thru
I don't care what you say, the fact that he's a drag queen with the same shoe size as me is reason enough to date him
The only thing that got me through this hellish day was imagining a large Swedish penis inside of me.
What did your vagina DO during the nhl lockout?!
Americans.
Her parents are celebrating she found someone so well endowed.
Will there be champagne when they see the pay check?
No it's like. I don't respect you. And I think you're a terrible person but. I still wanna bone it out.
We just had sex in the shed while having a conversation about cheeseburgers...so that's how my day is going
My toothbrush tastes like captain morgan
I'm jealous
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