Every time there's an awkward silence a gay baby is born
I'm scared
There's nothing to be scared of. My penis is average size.
That's what I'm afraid of
my ass has officially been on the floor of every fraternity on this campus
and who said we didn't have goals?
I don't think anyone has ever said "boy I'm glad I took those shots of everclear" when they wake up
I just made bacon chili cheese fries for dinner...someday my kids are going to realize I'm a stoner & this will all make sense
They're doing a Bong-A-Thon for 4/20. I don't care if you quit. You are coming out of your weed retirement for this.
Stayed out til 7 am.... Did u know there's a guy who goes up and down the quad at that hour playing bagpipes?
Dude, it's the frankincense and myrrh soap. Smelling like baby Jesus will get you laid.
We had to leave after he was in the middle of the street yelling "Balls of Steeeeeeeeel!!"
These fuzzy pants work great for sleeping, taking an exam, getting baked and watching the hobbit. I guess i'm not changing pants for 72 hours.
Being with her was like shitty sexual fear factor big ass sausage nipples over sized outty belly button i was scared and drunk tell know one
Walked into a bathroom stall to pop an addy for my three back-to-back finals today. Felt like Clark Kent walking into a phonebooth.
Yeah because the only thing stopping you from fucking Emma Watson is you not being a Gryffindor
1) Woke up alone with my bathing suit on inside out spooning an empty bottle of Jack, 2) get the fuck on to my level 3) please pick me up and bring a stuffed pony, some Oreo's and my pride...
She was topless, yelling this is Sparta, threatening to push her dad into the sewer. I am pretty sure she won't be at school.
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