So I just opened the bag you gave me and those panties aren't mine...
oh
I woke with a ring of glitter around my dick.... I kinda don't want to wash it off
Her problem is just that he inner beauty is just as ugly as her physical beauty
He is like the real live version of the state fair..
not much just sitting outside his bathroom door naked eating cheetoes. You?
see these eyes, they just want to bone and go to sleep.
never underestimate the power of walking into a bar alone in uv cat makeup.. took home a seven foot man
We fucked then made friendship bracelets, his mother taught him right!
Oh my god i hate key west. No one takes amex and strippers took all my money
How high is the bridge and how deep is the water and what are the chances I will get arrested
The crowd is chanting "we want sex!" There's a man dressed as bacon. That is all
Happy Father's Day to the first man I called Daddy while cumming.
Mischief managed.
YOU ARE NOT A MARAUDER, WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO NOW?
Can you face time me. I need to know if this pill is xanex or ecstasy
I may have made out with your roommate and your cousin tonight. In my defense I thought both of them were your cousin.
Randomize
