So i looked up from her cooch and there was her ex-boyfriend
Awkward
he told me it was a naked video of him so i opened it. i just got rickrolled while sexting
I just wanted to yell " i am not a shake weight!!"
Dude. He drives a mini. Therefore he's a virgin
12 trash cans filled with water. Beer cans floating in each, 12 ft apart. Dodgeball. Ultimate beer pong.
Rules. We have to wear superhero outfits
This is a mass text. Surprise drug testing at work today. Either I've finally got to fuck my boss or I've got to quit to make this all go away. Please respond with option a or b.
I asked her politely not to touch my dick
So I had sex in a bulldozer lastnight now that's definitely a first...
You went to the animal party as a hoodrat. You won the most creative costume contest.
She came out of my bathroom wearing nothing but high top Converse, a leather jacket and a tongue stud. I love rock bars.
I just spent the better half of my Friday night alone, naked eating McDonalds. Not my worst start of a new year
idk i was trying to watch Fuller House and you got up out of a dead sleep, just in your boxers, said "no more Dave Coulier" and walked out to the living room and unplugged the router
people keep driving by and judging me for drinking natty outside in my underwear at 9 am. rude.
Why is my belly button ring in my ear
Honestly, this social distancing bullshit is giving me a good excuse for drinking alone.
Randomize
