I hate to tell you this, but your sister reeks of whore.
had to bail. she had her cat tattooed on her
She's gonna be fat in the future. On a side note I had a "It's not you, it's me." conversation with a bottle of jack last night.
I was just on craigslist and saw and ad for a naked yoga instructor. I will no longer be jobless.
I just saw a group of 50+ year old women all wearing shirts that said "drink up, bitches" ...please tell me that can be us some day.
She just cut the six pack plastic up and screamed "save the dolphins"..she also threw away cans of tuna. I like this girl.
I DON'T WANT TO DEMONSTRATE MY DICK TAKING ABILITIES WITH MY MOM THERE.
I thought it was a drawer and tried to pull it out and it wasnt a drawer it was the police call button. I hate everything.
soo...what's the appropriate way to ask to come over and take your S&M lingerie out of your ex's apartment? big weekend planned, kinda need it.
Just copped mushrooms from a dude in a business suit. U comin or what?
I just used a VHS tape as a plate for sanwich
Was there a condom involved? Because he was saying he wanted a kid. Repeatedly.
They were so huge my eyes were just drawn to them. Boob gravity man.
Well I just finished dry heaving so I think breakfast is a little further out for me
Why does your place smell like gin and misery?
I prefer to think of it as 'ode to single life'
Randomize