I don't get it.
Me neither.
But I masturbated to it anyway.
First thing she said after sex was.. are you baptised by chance?
The doctor put me on 3000 mg of amoxicillin a day. Which, for a sinus infection, seems pretty excessive to me.
Maybe he was just trying to knock out any potential ghonorrhea you might be carrying around.
Ah, my reputation precedes me.
Mom just apologized for her lack of a gag reflex not being genetic.
You were throwing ham at people telling them you were the sandwhich fairy
Its 11am, im in the city in a pocahontas outfit, lost a heel and found a gold rolex in my lingerie.
So the doctor told me that I am starting to showing the early signs of liver cirrhosis. Thank you Jack Daniels for making the first 26 years of my life awesome.
My goal for the night is to see your housemate's one lonely teste.
Found out people don't like it when you get drunk at fundraising auctions and bid in foreign currencies.
Pretty sure my body is in shock, I shouldn't feel this ok after last nite.
So, this year for my birthday, want to get rip-roaring schmammered and watch my episode of my super sweet 16? We can do lines off my tiara.
Shit. She's still hooking up with some random in the doorway. How do I get out of here?
Well hurry! Everybody is already at McDonalds.
I'm free! Didnt realize how easy it was to crawl out the window.
Looks like it rained condoms in my room last night
so we’ve decided to fuck for our own health
What happened?
Vodka. Vodka happened.
Randomize
