I was in bed at 845. Affairs take a lot out of people
im honestly more upset that i fucked a buckeyes fan than about cheating on my boyfriend...
Two words that describe last night: naked and backflips.
Imagine Captain Hook, but in penis form and sometimes shy.
It isn't possible and the very mindfuck of that concept gives me a lady boner.
I dunno what he did but it both burns and feels amazing to pee
drinking vodka, listening 2 smh at 530am slow cooking beef stew. you'll enjoy the stew and worry abt me in the morning. bon apatite
I'm trying to puke quietly so i don't ruin my grandma's birthday/my graduation brunch. And you say i need to grow up.
Well, I crapped my pants in front of her entire family, was laughed out of their house, and I had to walk home with shit stained pants. So, yeah, it went really well.
BOOM BITCH SERVES YOU RIGHT I HOPE YOU SHIT YOURSELF PETER PAN
What the hell did you do last night?
I embarrassed myself, my family, name, and possibly my country.
I wanna riverboat gamble on your vaginal waters. Just sayin
He just seemed to happy to be having sex with me that it ruined the mood for me. I just wanted to punch him.
i need something from you. video yourself doing naked jumping jacks and send it to me. it will make me smile
Almost gave the delivery guy a 34 dollar tip. That high
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