the jail released me with 39 mardi gras beads. I need details.
Let's create a 16 and pregnant drinking game
When I find myself drinking from a boot I just go with it and refuse to ask why.
Some guy stole lobsters by hiding them in his pants. We should strive to be like him.
Am I texting you while being used as a stripper pole by two half-naked women? hint: I am.
There was a reason God said "Let there be titties" on the Fifth Day.
Then this bride walked into the bar, she thought it would be a good idea to hug her & then she started playing parachute with her train.
How do I discreetly dispose of sex toy packaging that is recyclable? What to do...what to do?
Who needs sounds of the ocean? I just fall asleep to whatever chubby he is banging next door.
Yeah that doesn't involve enough booze, count me out
There was a deer right in front of me when I came. Sex in the forest is awesome
Just scratched my head and I basically rained glitter.
My new roommate is one of my Tinder matches... It is so on.
One of your 'guests' left her bra in the kitchen.
Dude, does it look like any of the women I bring home wear bras?
all I want for my birthday is booze and sex toys. don't bother calling if neither of those are included.
Randomize
