She announced her abortion via fbk
his dad came out and found me sleeping indian style on the couch with my cup balancing on my boobs. didn't spill a drop.
Everyone knows relationships are a winter sport
I just need to repress my desire to share my impressive chugging abilities with the world and I won't black out so much
Haha! I've never met his girlfriend, so my main focus will be not saying,"you're the only person in this room that doesn't know what my vagina feels like."
I told him to pick up the beer can he threw in front of the police station. So he gets out chugs whatever's left and throws it back and says ok let's go.
As I was sneaking out of his house last night his moms lover was sneaking in, he held the door for me...
If i still have my costume on when i get home from the bar i am gonna be pissed
Am I allowed to be in denial about being gay again? Or is that one of those things you can't do?
I think Saturday night will always be a mystery to me, except for buying an excessive amount of birthday shots for everyone and yelling BIRTHDAY SHOTS before every shot.
I smell like hot dogs and captain morgan it's 11:20 am what is my life
Well to me, someone is not really my friend until we go to a mcdonalds drunk at 4am. It's like a right of passage
Fucked a kid by the name of your hometown tonight... FOR THE WIN.. BF4L
Showing girls my stab wound was not the brilliant idea I thought it was.
Do you remember telling those ppl that they need to mate and give you the baby and in 15 years you will all reunite and it will be a party?
Randomize
