Why can't I find a man that likes bush instead of a vagina that looks like it belongs to a prepubescent child!
Because men are children
Touche
I think i found my new favorite workout. Go to a party where you dont know anybody and constantly walk around the house so you dont look awkward standing alone. im up to 1.8 miles
can you please tell me why I'm bleeding so heavily from my ass and all my makeup is gone?
its totally unfair that im just as ill-prepared as a 16 year old but there's no tv show for 25 and pregnant.
September 16th, captains log. I awoke in a daze, not sure of my location
He was with one girl when I went to bed, wad with another when I woke up and now he just told me he was with a 3rd in-between last night and this morning. Jesus Christ.
As added birth control I warned him that if he knocked me up tonight I would name the baby Truck.
Now back to adults eating hotdogs.
I sat on the toilet and peed through my jeans, then I pissed the bed and blamed him...do you think well have a 2nd date?
I'm tryin a pb and onion sandwich now
Please smoke with me until I agree that sounds like a good idea
I did coke with the Royal Navy last night. God save the queen.
I was a plus one at an intervention for a person I didn't know.
MY INSIDES ARE BASICALLY BEING WRUNG BY A CHAINSAW IM NEVER TAKING PLAN B AGAIN
Almost ran out to the street bowl in hand when I hear the ice cream truck pull up outside.
Everything about that text makes me proud to be your sister.
I woke up and there was a huge blow up palm tree in my bed...
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