Did you see the soccer ref give that girl the red card as she was being kicked out of the party?
She got mad when I told her I'd bone her mom. She got MORE mad when her mom heard, and was flattered by it. Proud to say I attract MILFS.
I'm just not sure how to initiate the "do you want to have sex with my boyfriend and I" conversation
if you were drunk and peed in your friend's washing maching, would you send an "i'm sorry" text or say nothing at all?
all hypothetical of course
i drunkenly decided i was going to take down all the male cheerleaders, gay or not. 1 down about 10 more to go.
Thanks for sticking it out with old horseface last night... I owe you one buddy.
I think I'm still fucked. I can see the electricty going through the street car lines
i just remember doing it on a pile of clothes while i heard the muffled sound of his friend laughing. then i realized we were in a closet.
you are never too drunk for berry picking
HOW IS IT EARTHLY POSSIBLE TO DO THAT MUCH DAMAGE WITH JUST MY THUMBS?? HOW???
When theres a zombie apocalypse, i will be the only fat survivor. I ate chef boyardi ravioli with part of a pen for a fork
I just told him I want him to "take the reins". At least its festive sexting?
I may have just tried to argue quantum entanglement as the reason I was still in her bed.
He said he "doesnt care at all, really" if I shave my legs or not. Challenge accepted.
is caitlin alive?
ya she's alive she's watching a movie
ok remind her she drank toilet water then.
Randomize
