i an so hammered right now. I'm about to pass out but i just found the lion king dvd and i'm so happy words don't even describe.
I'm gonna name my first kid mufasa regardless if It's a boy or girl
There are only two things that should be in vaginas... penises and vegetables
Soooo my gf got the droid and doesn't have BBM anymore, I think its over for her
I still love him regardless of his misguided forays into heterosexuality
I love that your nipples always taste like clean laundry.
Seriously, this apartment is covered in body glitter. This chick musta been a huuuuuge slut. How do you get it across every surface?
Do you have any forwarding contact info?
They are doing the auction. One of the items in the auction is a grenade launcher.
I wish there was a morning after pill for dominoes.
Had the weirdest dream last night. If you're ever in Texas, do not come over with a 12 pack as a bribe and ask for a threeway between you, me, and my TA. I will take the beer though.
YOU DONT EAT A GIRL OUT AND THEN GO PUKE ASSHOLE
The bottle brush for the bong worked really well to clean the brownies out of the waffle maker.
My intervention, when it happens, should have vanilla cake....buttermilk icing.
COCAINE IS GR8
I got very very very high last night and bought a cotton candy machine on eBay
Just broke into the basement of my house via my american red cross blood donor card. I officially save lives
Randomize
