This bar is like a mediocre whore house....but free
This guy just came in and told me how he bought a clock for his cat so his cat can know when he's coming home...
I just headbutted my cat because he was trying to eat my bacon.
Idgaf if he's a manwhore, he's like the mt. everest of penises. howcan I NOT try to put that inside me?
I think its pretty common. 1 out of every 4 people probably have a stripper's phone # in their phone.
There are twenty thousand men on this campus, please have sex with someone who isn't my drug dealer
When i sexted him a pic of my boobs I was worried he was going to notice the dorito crumbs and know I was just eating topless
Let me begin to explain the rest of last night by beginning with saying that out if necessity I took a pair of your underwear
And in that, my finest lazy stoner moment, I used my cleavage to hold my bowl steady while I packed it laying down in bed.
And then my night got REAL pukey
On a scale from 1-10 how wrong is it to request "I Hit It First" at my ex's wedding reception?
Definite 12.2 but worth it.
I can't give advice right now, I have a yeast infection.
Came out of blackout state to the curtains torn down & the headboard laid on top of him. & yes he was still breathing
Nothing like casual arson to brighten your day
So it turns out that a Ford Focus does not fit in a Walmart cart return.
Randomize
