just next time i won't let coke make me think I'm superman and drink a shit ton.
he just tried to lick my eyebrow. thats the deal breaker.
As soon as I saw the video camera and red light on, I started rolling my eyes when he would put it in me and telling him maybe his dick was too small cause I didn't feel anything...trust me that tape is going nowhere
The freshman came home at 9 this morning with one heel, no pants, and a strangers sweatshirt covered in tequila-scented vomit. I think we're done corrupting her for a while.
He just yelled in the bar, "So I stuck it in two girls butts, why are you bringing that up now?"
That girl gave me her number because you were arrested. I am so proud of you dude.
seriously my hangover is so bad I feel like my eye lashes make blinking a workout
I woke up in your car in the McDonalds parking lot. What the hell happened to 'no man left behind'?
I'm just saying, asking "Are you happy with me?" during a handjob is simply unfair and scientifically inadmissiable.
Like I couldn't describe it to you but if they did a lineup of penises i'd be able to pick it out.
I mean, I can get to know him eventually. The time frame doesn't really matter. I'll have sex with him regardless of whether he's interesting or not.
It's that thing where you don't have any food so you just drink beer to get your needed calories for the day.
I DONT UNDERSTAND NIPPLES. THEY JUST POP OUT FOR NO REASON
Well somebody's had a rough day, nipple-wise
Banging to Billy Joel pandora is like russian roulette. But I made him cum to Let It Be so I we both walked away victors
Is there a reason why your pubic hair is a plastic bag on my bathroom floor? And yes I know its yours... You wrote your name on the bag
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