Just asked what her favorite part of a guys body is. She said ballsack. I'm in love.
He had one of those small greek statue penises
I just watched Jersey Shore so I would know what rock bottom was when I reach it.
At one point I was double fisting both beer & ice cream. I love public events in this town.
Fuck it dude, we gotta bounce before she starts talking about her steve irwin conspiracy
we agreed that it was acceptable to get the cat high as long as we gave her a lot of food.
She just passive-aggressively stripped in the kitchen while humming the theme to Doug.
She tried to sit inside the drawer to my dresser and when it broke, she burst into tears calling herself fat. Too high to deal with this
Lets be real here, you loved it when I was on top. With and without the machete.
i found out she really is a mensa member
so she was the smartest passed out on the floor hair encrusted in vomit girl at the party
Would giving a bouquet of flowers to my mother be a good way to say, "sorry you walked in on my boyfriend eating me out"?
He was Jesus for Halloween and I definitely got on my knees and gave him praise.
It's 7:30pm and we've already lost someone and had to run from the cops. What the fuck did you put in the punch?
It was a good hour of moans, penis compliments, smacks, and what sounded like someone running in flip flops
I haven't been drunk for four days and just realized I haven't taken a shit for three. This can't be healthy.
Which part?
Randomize
