Did you see that girl I got with last night?
Girl? Oh...weird...to be honest Ive always thought you were gay..
my sisters under your porch take her home
I love how all these freshman girls think that they can wear what they wore last summer... freshman 15 at its skankiest
Some guy seriously just got Jimmy Johns delivered to him at the graduation ceremony. This cannot be real life.
All i remember was you crying naked on the bathroom floor because you were cold. I got you a blanket and you kept kicking it off and crying because you were still cold.
after i talked him through a bulleted list of why we couldn't have sex he just said "but it would be fun...."
God you people are gross. Come collect your unconscious friend.
Aaaand my life has been reduced to whether I can reach to flush my puke down the toilet using my foot. The answer is yes.
We both paused during sex to do the clap during the Friends theme song. Soulmates.
Michelle asked what I was wearing tonight. I responded with a g-string and plastic wrap. I've gotten no response since.
Halfway through the blowjob she stopped and said 'Wait I know this dick'.
I basically have sex lined up for me in three different countries. If that's not a feat I don't know what is
Aaand now my client contact has seen your boobs.
I give all credit to my lucky thong, there's never a time I haven't gotten laid while wearing it
The shrooms were awesome. Everyone's bones in their face looked so beautiful! Everyone had great face structures.
Randomize
