he pointed at my clit and asked with a confused face, 'whats this thingy??"
I'm watching Terminator eating a jar of marshmallow fluff. Trust me, you are not fat.
The theme is smores and alcohol. Dress appropriately.
He looks like Ryan Reynolds from this angle
Since when is drunk an angle?
Nothing like hearing a USA chant while getting head. God bless America.
In their defense you were hugging a watermelon for a good portion of the trip
Blacked out last night, but left myself a note that said "oops on oops on oops" that can never be a positive
I think I'm going to go into my next therapy session with hot client with my fly down and when he tells me about it I'm going to say "how did that happen?!" and then porn music will start to play.
There something about a girl that pirates lemonade off a restaurant fountain as a mixer that I find intriguing.
Why did I wake up with condoms on all my fingers?
Considering the girl you hooked up with, I'd be concerned about not having one on your penis.
Was so drunk I had to masturbate face up cuz I thought I was gonna be suffocated by the pillows.
U can be a future sentaor's wife if you want. I'm happy with "closet lesbian", "tech prof".and "masters degree" all rolled into one. Drunken bar escapades pay off.
It is super hard to find a good vegan dominatrix! THAT'S why I'm single
He just didn't want his drunk dick pulled out of his windbreaker at the family party
I asked him to help me break in the space ship aka my bed.
Randomize
