U of I kids don't fist pump to Sweet Caroline. Get me the fuck out of here.
oh well at that point I was already depressed with life because I had watched the bratz movie.
i DID NOT walk around with my knees bent and my hands behind my back with long spandex and underarmour pretending to be Apollo Ono
Dude I thought this was going to suck, but moving back in with my dad is like being at a frat party every night only everyone is 40 years old.
never thought i'd see a ''climb of shame'' until she came down from the attic in front of the whole party..
Why hello there Olivia! How are you today on this fine and most wonderful morning full of magic and adventure and awesomeness?
Someone just got laid.
I wish there was an emoji to express our Eskimo Brothership
You said you wanted to wrap his dick in a tortilla and make a spicy burrito. Let me just say, most girls don't have this hard of a time getting laid.
He's claiming he can open a beer bottle with anything. He's been trying for a while now with a power rangers action figure and he is just cutting the hell out of his hand. There is blood all over billy
Every time he asks me if I'm horny I'm just like come on...stupid question
I bit my tongue so hard I left a deep imprint. Fuck you tongue, stop getting in the way of food.
moms trying to set me up with a 28 year old. hes graduated university like im getting high in my bed and he's an adult
I should get him a card "thanks for letting me use you for your penis on and off as I see fit and for being a nice guy. My boobs and I appreciate your loyalty and dedication"
he invited me over. we listened to jazz, smoked weed, then cerebrally fucked each other over a three hour game of chess
Its like he got lessons from Jesus on how to use his tongue. And his dick.
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