I only want to know people that are dynamic intelligent and totally insane
Is there a tactful way for me to ask a girl to let me know when she gets her period?
I molested 6 butterflies tonight
I was so high I couldn't tell if they were goosebumps or herpes.
The only thing better than Call of Duty is getting jerked off while playing Call of Duty.
The only piece of furniture in the apartment is a wine rack.
Your scrotum should have touched every square inch of that place by now. Start with the water fountain.
I fell alseep but then some dude picked me up. Comforter and all stuck a blunt in my mouth and carried me back downstairs because "I wasn't done partying"
I just bought the ATT family protection plan so that I could block all of my old bar hookups from booty calling me...
If I die, I leave all my liquor in my apartment to you. Be a drunk bitch at my funeral. I wouldn't want it any other way.
There's s woman at the corner of the bar dancing by herself in her seat and making eye contact with me. Please hurry.
Oh my god there's only so much masturbating one can do before one wants to fucking cry
my roommate would be appalled if she knew how many times i've peed in the kitchen sink
Actually, lets be honest. I will probably keep calling him the pastor because it brings me joy using pastor and fuck buddy in the same sentence.
The waxing lady fingered me during my brazilian. 40 dollars well spent
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