there was a party in your bed and you weren't invited... change your sheets
I took the chef home. His dick even tasted like garlic
i feel as uncomfortable as your camel toe looks.
This is ridiculous. It's like playing possible STD Clue, and I don't want to be the winner.
Cuz its complicated and I hate complicated and I miss your penis
FUCK BUDDYS DON'T HOLD HANDS. NO EXCEPTIONS.
and a jello shot exploded in my bra last night. Now I have blueberry smurfette boobs. Awesome.
We can Fuck in the shower to save time
And this is why I like you. You're so damn innovative.
It is super hard to find a good vegan dominatrix! THAT'S why I'm single
Also I just took Ritalin with coffee so if anyone wants to know what numbers sound like, I got you
No ambien sex tonight. I just ate two hotdogs with chilli and onions.
Only you would get a side of potential vagina with your sandwich
Lemme put it this way babe, at point you were naked in Target.
Where were you?
Laughing
COCAINE IS GR8
After 2 minutes he came and said, "thanks for everything". I can't wait to hear what he says next time when I do more than just lay there.
Randomize
