I wish i could be on x for the rest of my life.
sorry for throwing an entire water bottle of vodka at you. It was very wasteful
we smoked out of your homemade aunt jamima bong
Subtly mention that I'm not a lesbian. I would only go for rebecca's nipples because they're pierced and I like shiny things.
he was holding the bottle like a running back yelling for security and the national guard as he was being tackled
Side note: THE ORIGINAL LION KING IS COMING THE MOVIES AGAIN--3D STYLE. We need to find shrooms.
I'll start choreographing the sperm rain dance now
I thought it was my alarm clock, turns out it was her vibrator still going off on the side of my face.
I still have your make up all over the inside of my thighs from the face sitting. Free tonight?
In the 2nd smartest move of my day your ringtone for when you call is now the Space Jam theme.
What's your ideal size in a man?
I just asked if you could cover my shift tomorrow......
I'm about to have a threesome at the hotel where I had my quinceañera. Becoming a woman under this roof for the second time, whaaat
No dude. I can't think of anything LESS sexy than yodeling
so, in conclusion, I think his gf found out about the booty pics
I just found your shirt hanging in a tree 4 blocks from the party...in the opposite direction of your house. where are you going?
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