Youre a pretentious asshole and im not sure who you think you are. Get the hell over yourself and the self righteous culture snob image because its pretty obnoxious.
my facebook is like a giant collection of my one night stands
I fucked him in the bathroom at Cedar Point. if it hadn't been for me already combining my two favorite things in the world the whole bathroom thing would have been a little disgusting.
The plus side of face planted at the tailgate was that no one could see my nipples hanging out.
I have been running off of weed, alcohol, and Mexican food. What is Tallahassee.
i'm sorry i gave your brother a handjob while you were on the blanket next to us, but to be fair your back was turned.
Just whatever you do please don't lick his face again.
I'm using toast as a chaser. If I wasn't already so fucked up this would be revolting.
We need to step up our tailgating...they're here drinking out of a prosthetic leg
Drunk dialed the ex last nigh; turns out I miss dialed. The stranger who answered played along and apologized for sleeping with my cousin. She sent me a txt this morning to let me know.
Kindest stranger ever. Marry that girl.
Wake your sexy ass up. It's donut time.
Would you go as one half of Harry and Lloyd in Tuxes to Aaron's wedding?
Lexi was drunk enough at 2pm to say "fuck tom brady and fuck you too" to literally every person at the store in Pats attire.
Stop it. You know what r&b does to my body
Crying into a glass of wine at 10 am isn't exactly how I planned this day to go
Randomize
