We should steal a little kid and go to Chucke Cheese
The stripper told me she had been working there for eight years, then got mad when I asked if she was trying to make it into mangment. Awkwardest lap dance
my new ipod has external speakers and a video camera...all i can think about is how much more convenient it would be for me to make a pretty decent sex tape
We hung out in the bathroom the whole time and talked about sex and watched some girl pee. If you don't believe I was there, check the bathtub for bread crust.
there is no 'pace myself' on the blackout express
All I've consumed over the last couple days is Vanilla Coke, semen, and Coors. I don't think today will be any different.
Why can't I live in a world where my only 2 options are rum bikini hot tub party or masturbating?
Just specific performance'd my way into her pants. I literally said specific performance and that shit worked. Thanks B. Law!
You have to start asking people if they're gay before you kiss them..
Also... I'm unsure what to do with my face while someone is choking me during sex. Like I feel like its hard to look flattering.
Is a swingers hotel appropriate for an anniversary?
Nah it's alright, I'll just ride cock all the way to hell
You know it's NBA season when you compare head to 3 pointers.
all I remember is grinding on everyone in the room regardless of gender and quoting the lion king non-stop. We need to stop buying Jameson.
Tonight was a total waste of a shaved vagina
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