There's this guy beside me dancing with this girl with no panties on. When I looked at him he said he's babysitting his bestfriend's girlfriend since he can't come out.
What a good friend
Contrary to popular belief, while 19 is an attractive age, it does not equate to sexual prowess.
We named our saturday intramural dodgeball team "we're hungover". Pretty much just an excuse to fuel my alcoholism on friday nights.
I literally have been drunk for three days entirely by myself, the world cup may kill me
My mom said "I don't want to fund your drug problem" so she gave me a gift card to the book store. I now have a 420 page book on growing weed.
i will pay you if you can come get me. he just suggested that we would have a hockey themed wedding.
hey im home...im not sure how this mcdonalds got here but whatever im gonna eat it anyway.
Im about to shotgun a beer using my mother's knitting needles. home sweet home.
Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend. I woke up at 7 this morning to drive your mistake home because you wouldn't get up.
The melted ice in my drinks tonight is probably the most water I've had in like 3 days accumulated.
Fuck you, you can't judge me til you've smelt my boobs.
Was so close to hoppin on it but then I realize it's not a dick and I needed to keep walking. Primal instincts.
Why the fuck is there a picture of us jumping a girl that's wearing my chicken mask?
Is 28 too old to get fingered in Centennial Park? Asking for a friend.
you never un-have a 4some
Randomize
